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Funny Story Time

nosembossnosemboss Member
edited March 2014 in The Pub (Off Topic)
I'll start us off, I once worked and lived at a yoga retreat. Part of my gig was picking mushrooms for the kitchen. (we served breakfast, lunch and dinner 7 days a week) I put the fresh mushrooms in a paper bag and that bag made it to the chef's office but didn't make it out, so one morning staff walked into the kitchen / office area and notices rice spilled all over the floor. She sweeps it up into a pile and goes looking for a dustpan when she comes back she sais she notices the pile has spread out a little and in another moment notices the rice is moving. When I arrived sometime later there were 4 people including her telling me the story of how they had to clean up a giant pile of maggots, all of them scowling at me, but I think it's the funniest thing I ever heard, still do.

Comments

  • What's the name of the yoga retreat so I can officially recommend no one ever eat there
  • RogueRogue Member, Administrator
    Well this isnt really a funny story, more of a childs pranks. When I was younger, me and ny older sis taught our little sister cussing words, but she never used them, she was a quiet kid. One day one of my fathers religious friends knocks on the door, my little sister opens and screams at the top of her lungs "OH FUCKIN HELL!!!"

  • One time i ordered a coke but they brought me a Pepsi...

    I didn't tip the waitress at all
  • RogueRogue Member, Administrator
    @Cigshurtmylungs‌ badass. Hate it when they confuse orders though.

  • Once my cat was torturing a mouse, my wife was distraught over it's plaintive squealing and inveighed me to interrupt the scene. I dutifully went out, dragged the cat off the little creature and the mouse then promptly rolled back on its feet and scurried over my shoe, up the sock, and then up the inside of my pant leg.
  • Once my cat was torturing a mouse, my wife was distraught over it's plaintive squealing and inveighed me to interrupt the scene. I dutifully went out, dragged the cat off the little creature and the mouse then promptly rolled back on its feet and scurried over my shoe, up the sock, and then up the inside of my pant leg.
    Did It bite you and give you mouse powers?
  • @Mouse is that how you got your nickname?

    Guy, we'll call him Pete, came in with his phone to get it exchanged as part of his contract, but one of the things we have to do is make sure that there is in fact something wrong and its not just a user error issue. Pete was complaining that his phone was changing words around after he typed them. Those amongst you with modern smartphones may have experienced this "issue." I type on his phone for about two minutes straight without a single instance of this phantom issue, and tell him we can't exchange it, he flips out, calls me incompetent and demands to speak to a manager. Long story short, manager backs me up and tells the customer if he actually has a problem to come back in and we'll take care of it. Pete comes in the next day complaining that his Facebook app isn't working correctly, and I proceed to show him on both his phone and MY phone that it is, and then he pipes up with about two hours after he left it started doing the same thing as the day before, and I explain to him that I can turn autocorrect off for him, but he won't have it and demands someone above the store level, so I give Pete the corporate number and he leaves. Five minutes later, a call comes in from the corporate line, and its just Pete, complaining that he was just on the phone with someone for a half hour and that the asshole at the store won't get him a new phone, finally I tell him that I'm the agent he spoke with previously, and to just come back in and I'll send it, even though I can find nothing wrong. He tells me to hold the line, so I ask him if hes in the parking lot, and he says yes. I watch him walk through the door and tell him that I see him. He walks straight up to me and I take the phone away from my ear, he's looking me dead in the eye and says into his phone, 'ok, so are you going to talk to this guy or what?'

    So I said 'Sir, you're speaking with me,' to his face, and he goes 'yeah, but what should I say to him?'

    So I hang up entirely and say a little more slowly, 'Sir, you are literally talking to me on the phone, I told you to come in, you're talking to me.' Pete just stood there stupidly for a minute before basking in some smug satisfaction, and then asked me if I ever learned how to take care of phones when he came in to get the replacement phone. Some people...

    TL;DR Some of the people I'm forced to work with are INTENSELY STUPID.
  • My mouse powers preceded the mouse-in-the-pants incident.
  • ^ so that's why it was so attracted to the inside of your pants
  • RogueRogue Member, Administrator
    @AgentMatt I feel your pain.

  • ^ so that's why it was so attracted to the inside of your pants
    Alas, about the only thing that is.
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