Well, I've had enough. I once inclined my nose to the cornucopia of snuff variety with a giddy enthusiasm. Indian, German, British, Dutch and American snuffs boogied through my nostrils like a soul train headed to Nicotine City. But then I tried your SP Extra, and all that went down the sh*tter.
Initially, I didn't like SP Extra. But that was simply because the snuff was so fresh, and I hadn't given it time to decant.
Yesterday I took another pinch. The bag of snuff I bring to work now rests, neglected, on a file cabinet behind me. I tell myself that I should have a pinch of Kailash, maybe a bit of Yellow Crest, instead of reaching again into my quickly-diminishing supply of SP Extra. And sometimes I do sniff something different, but I know that it's only to clear my nostrils and ready them again for your devilish bergamot concoction.
My question is this: How can you dare to make a snuff so good? Snuffs like Tom Buck and S'nuff are now utterly obsolete. Do you know what you've done?!
I formally request that you stop production of SP Extra, as it makes all the other snuffs look bad. Would Tiger Woods play in a high school golf tournament? No, Mr. Lawrie, he would not. And why? Probably the fact that he wouldn't get paid, but also because it'd make those poor kids, even the best of them, look like clown shoes. He has to play in his own league. And what league is SP Extra in? No league. If snuff, as was once said, is the final end of the human nose, then SP Extra is the final end of snuff.
You have created this beast, and you can destroy it.
In gratitude for your cooperation,
p.s. You also might want to set up a rehabilitation program (I'm thinking with dormitories, water painting and a petting zoo) for those like myself who will be shattered beyond functionality when SP Extra is finally gone from the world.
p.p.s. Awesome snuff.